Transcript (See below for credits.)

~~ Introduction

Malex: Okay now, you two stay here and be good! I’ll just be in the store for a little while.

Snufflefungus: Okay, bye!

Linus: Yeah yeah, go away.

Snufflefungus: Wow, we’re waiting in a parking lot! Isn’t this exciting?

Linus: Yeah sure… No. It isn’t.

Snufflefungus: Oh look at that! It’s someone else pulling up! They’re going into the store too! What a coincidence!

Linus: (Sighs.)

Snufflefungus: Oh look, Linus! That other car over there has a dog in it! (Yells.) Hi Doggy! We’re waiting for our driver to finish in the store too!

Linus: (Fake excitement.) Oh look up there, Snuffy. A security camera on the top of the building. Moving back… and forth… and back… and forth…

Snufflefungus: That’s not so exciting…

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: I’m bored. What do you wanna do, Linus?

Linus: Drive away. But that would be illegal.

Snufflefungus: I meant, maybe we could play a game or something!

Linus: Like what?

Snufflefungus: Maybe I spy! Okay… I’m thinking of something big and red, that says “Mr. Grocer’s Happy Mart!”

Linus: The big red letters on the front of the store?

Snufflefungus: Yes! …Maybe that’s a little too easy.

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: Okay, I have another one! I’m thinking of something tiny and grey!

Linus: That describes every pebble in the parking lot and every corner of brick on the building. Give me more details.

Snufflefungus: Okay… It’s made of metal, and it’s shaped like a donut!

Linus: Is it one of the links on the chain dangling from the bottom of the shopping cart right there?

Snufflefungus: Yep! You got it!

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: Maybe we should play something else. Oh I know! How about we play chess in our heads?

Linus: (Excited.) You’re on! Take the first move if you dare.

~~ Very rapid chess game.

Snufflefungus: E2 to E4!

Linus: E7 to E5!

Snufflefungus: D1 to H5!

Linus: B8 to C6!

Snufflefungus: F1 to C4!

Linus: G8 to F6!

Snufflefungus: H5 takes F7 – checkmate!

Linus: Bah!

~~ Silence.

Snufflefungus: Oh look, Linus! I found some binoculars in the glove compartment!

Linus: Oh good, maybe you could stare at the sun with them. That sounds pretty funny.

Snufflefungus: (Confused.) But Malex says not to stare at the sun because it’s bad for–

Linus: Fine, don’t do it. See if I care.

Snufflefungus: Hey look, a birdie!

Linus: Woe is me! Malex got fed up with us! He was lying when he said he’d be back, and really he has left us to the buzzards!

Snufflefungus: But… the birdie I was looking at through the binoculars wasn’t a buzzard–

Linus: No, of course not… (Trailing off.) That would be too conspicuous…

Snufflefungus: Here, Linus! Look at the birdie!

Linus: Get those things out of my face!

Snufflefungus: …What does a buzzard look like, anyway?

Linus: Alright, give those here!

Snufflefungus: See, right over there!

Linus: No, that’s no buzzard… Hey… Look, another bird! It– It looks like it’s attacking the first one!

Snufflefungus: (Gasps.) Lemme see!

Linus: Hush! … Yeah, it’s attacking it!

Snufflefungus: Oh Linus, we have to do something!

Linus: Here, maybe if we go shove that cart toward them it’ll scare off the attacker.

Snufflefungus: Let’s do it! Quick, before it’s too late!

Linus: Alright, wait here.

~~ Linus leaves the car.

Snufflefungus: Oh, I hope it works…

~~ Linus re-enters the car.

Linus: There, that should do it.

Snufflefungus: Umm… Linus? The cart is headed towards– (Gasps.) It hit that person’s car!

Linus: Oh no! Their car is rolling down the hill!

Snufflefungus: And it just hit the pillar to that gas station, causing the gas station to collapse entirely! What are we going to do?!

Linus: We’re not going to move a muscle!

Malex: Okay guys, I’m back. Glad to see neither of you are dead or missing. That looks like quite an accident over there… I wonder what happened?

Snufflefungus: There was a bird! And it was attacking another bird! And a cart!

Malex: Never mind, I– Just… I don’t want to know.

Linus: Let’s go, please.

~~ End

Credits

Producer and Director: Alex Markley

Writer: Peter Markley

Voices: Markley Brothers

Post-processing director: Gabriel Markley

Illustration: Peter Markley

Release manager: Peter Markley

Recording assistance: Leela

Thanks to Jesse Stephens for use of the Car Door sound effect.

Thanks to Sandy RB for use of the Bomb sound effect.

Thanks to everyone for their help and support.